Posts Tagged ‘guilt’
The Rhythm of Normalcy
As time passes, normalcy sets in. All things are this way. When the sun sets, I get tired. And if I leave the curtains open, when the sun rises, I wake up. My diet, mostly vegan, is pretty normal to me. It’s strange then to go home where being “vegan” is weird and leftist.
My homosexuality is now normal. In a way, I never imagined. Being with S, really makes me feel normal. I take a pill at night, along with a daily vitamin. And that now, is starting to feel normal. Just something I have to make sure I do.
I’m very afraid of skipping a dose. As that can cause mutation and resistance. Something, I’m deadly afraid of. I’m muscle sore today from my work out yesterday – it feels good. Although, my intake of food has increased, so, I feel I’m destined to keep this belly flab.
On a different note, I find it wonderful that music is so mathematical. Today, I read that two minutes and forty two seconds is a perfect length for a pop song. Michelle from the Beatles and about 30 songs from my iTunes library are now in a playlist.
I’m enjoying it so far.
I recently saw this:
This is video following a lioness who had been raised by a trainer and then reintroduced into the wild. After a few years, they reunite to wonderous and beautiful affections of love. Such a grand display of the unusual and awesome.
How the Earth just loves us. Even the most of vicious.
To S’s dismissal, there was a small part of me that felt guilty for trying so desperately to kill the virus inside me. He told me not to personify the virus – but for some reason, I have. Of course, that’s a silly thought and getting rid of the virus in anyway is good.
But it was a strange sensation to feel guilt. For hating something. Something that would destroy me. Like the lion here and his friendly and caregiving friend, a man.