two twenty eight

the journal of a positive person

Archive for June 2008

Coughing

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A few days ago, I started having an itchy throat.  It turned into a cough.  A bit of a flemmy cough.  I have been working my self pretty hard, going to the gym each day.  After getting such great news about my numbers, I took myself off – never do that – sulfamethoxazole-trimethoprim.  This is a pill I took once a day to prevent pneumonia.  You should take it when you are doing well (over cd4 count of 200) for 3 to 6 months.  I was over 200 for probably two weeks.

In any case, I got scared and started to taking it again.

Pills are scaring.  And relying on them to live is scarier.

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Written by twotwentyeight

June 16, 2008 at 7:33 am

Posted in health

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Dreamstate

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I was walking Hollywood Blvd. with my straight roommate.  I told him I wanted to get some gay porn for me and S.  We decided to go into a store.  I am usually extremely embarrassed to go in and buy any sort of adult toys, especially ones that clearly state that I am gay.  I was impressed however by my roommate’s clear indifference to going in a store with another guy and buying gay porn.  

He was also much more muscular than I remembered.

As we walked through the store it was set up like a long series of rooms, one door leading to the next.  Each room lead into a labyrinth of books and dvds.  However, as I started to seek out the gay porn section, I soon realized, I couldn’t find it.  There was a straight porn section.  And as I continued to look my roommate was actually S.  He was impressed by a room that was filled by many books.  He told me how he would come into these sorts of stores more often if he had known they were full of books.  I continued on alone, in search for the porn section.  It was as if I really needed it to get off.

I went into a room of porn, walls and walls.  I walked around and as I tried to look at each dvd title, my eyes were blurry.  I was having an extremely frustrating time forcing my eyes to focus on the titles.  I got to a section and saw that it said, NAB.  Which, I read at the time as NAMBLA or the Northern American Man Boy Love Association.  Something, I find incredibly disgusting.  I thought I found something, I pulled it out and it read as a DVD ROM.  Computers.  I was really frustrated. 

I walked into another room and there were cubicles and women with black rimmed glasses typing away, I thought I or they would say something about me being there, about me being in this porn shop looking for gay porn, but they said nothing.

I suggested to my roommate that we should just leave and go to another store as this one was obviously not very good.  As we left, he handed me my pill case that he was holding.  It was empty, but the cap was missing.  I saw it lying on the ground and picked it up. 

Another case of mine fell to the ground and my red pill (the one a day multi-vitamin) fell to the ground.  I started to realize I was in a dream and no matter what I did at this point, I’d never be able to fully grab all my pills.

Another case was on the ground.  And I woke up.

Written by twotwentyeight

June 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Posted in Dreams

Tagged with , ,

Numbers

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Today, I got my viral load back.  610.  610 from 6,209,850.  

 

Wow.

Written by twotwentyeight

June 6, 2008 at 8:20 am

Posted in HIV

Tagged with , ,

144 becomes 485

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And that is amazing.

Written by twotwentyeight

June 4, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Posted in HIV