two twenty eight

the journal of a positive person

Archive for March 23rd, 2008

i am thirteen again

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The world is reversing. Today, I woke up. I was wet. I wet the bed. I was thirteen again. S woke up next to me. Supportive. Beautiful. I cried. “What the fuck is going on?” My body is reacting – stressed. Unhealthy. I used to be so proud of my body. My body was such a temple. I treated it with such disrespect. Such candor. As if – yeah, whatever, it’ll always be there.

And now, it feels sick. My machine. My little wonderful heart and lungs. My skin. My organs. I shook when I heard those numbers. Those awful, terrible and horrible creatures of 6. So many fucking zeros. I sneezed and blood came out. My allergies were acting up. At least what I think was allergies. The dry air of Los Angeles, caused my bloody nose and when I started to cry, heavy crying – it sort of loosened that blood.

Freaking me out.

The apocalypse. Things are sometimes holy fuck frightening. After cleaning up. S gave me a haircut. We went out to a private brunch. We went to Six Flags and things felt better. The universe is flipping. And I’m not sure I’m oriented anyway that makes sense.

I’m just grateful for S. The strength in my current madness.

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Written by twotwentyeight

March 23, 2008 at 10:56 pm